There is something about the 1989 sports comedy film Major League that no sports movie ever can outshine. This movie has everything you wish to see in a sports movie, great sports, a superb cast, and just the perfect amount of comedy.
It’s disheartening that the makers stopped making movies like this. This movie is blessed with numerous story arcs; all presented so well. It’s stunning how the creators created a downright hilarious baseball movie with rich character development, a necessary story arc, and a ton of iconic one-liners. It is truly the best of movie scripts.
Major League is one of those comedy sports movies that you can watch hundreds of times, and it will still be funnier every single time.
On the occasion of the 30th anniversary of this masterpiece, we have collected the 30 greatest quotes of the Major League that are all-time favorites of die-hard fans. So, in case you have been missing this masterpiece, we have gathered a list of 30 iconic quotes from the Major League just for you.
30. Eddie Harris: “Are you trying to say Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?”
When Pedro Cerrano was seen praying to Biasi and not Jesus Christ for making him play well in the field, the team member, Eddie Harris, who firmly believes in Christian values, delivered this iconic quote.
No matter what genre it is, don’t you dare trigger people’s religion! Otherwise, the results will be catastrophic. Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball got so popular that people remember Major League through this statement.
This is one of the most hilarious quotes from this movie. It is surprising how this is such a simple line, but still so funny. We can never stop cherishing this most significant line in cinema history. This quote proves the exciting premise of this movie. The concept of including religion in a sports movie is all so unique.
29. Harry Doyle: “Remember, fans, Tuesday is Die Hard night. Free admission for anyone alive the last time the Indians won the pennant.”
Major League serves as the best comedy film and is known for its cinematic mastery. This movie is a treat for all the baseball lovers out there. The major league is blessed with one of the most hilarious commentators in history who will not make you lose your attention even for a second.
Bob Uecker made this movie the most memorable movie with his hilarious performance. It would not be worth arguing if I said Harry Doyle stole the show. This is the most underrated sports movie ever, and we can not help watching it repeatedly. This statement suggests an on-point sarcasm that shows how long it has been for Indians to win the pennant.
28. Harry Doyle: “This guy threw at his son in a father-son game.”
Harry Doyle, also known as Bob Uecker, is an ideal commentator. The way he delivers each quote while making it legendary is genuinely an incredible quality. He behaves like an actual narrator on the field who knows everything about the game, and we love every single quote that comes out of his mouth.
In the above statement, Harry Doyle addresses the reliever the Yankees pop into the tiebreaker game. The quote is delivered at the time when the new owner of the Cleveland Indians put up a terrible team, but when the game starts, they unexpectedly play extraordinarily well.
Strange how the father-son game quote is so legendary that as soon as we hear this line, we replay the exact moment in our minds, isn’t it?
27. Lou Brown: “Forget about the curveball, Ricky. Give him the heater!”
This quote is so iconic that we can see t-shirts printed with this famous quote nowadays. You can use this dialogue to cheer someone up in the game. We bet they will be impressed with your Major League obsession.
One of the Major League’s greatest treasures must be Lou Brown. His mustache is so magnificent that it barely even looks like he is talking. He is lovable character,d fans couldn’t help saying this iconic quote in every possible situation name. Gammon proved his acting skills in this movie, and we are glad he nailed his role. Lou Brown is one such character we can never stop holding on to.
26. Harry Doyle: “Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.”
These kinds of sarcastic remarks only a savage commentator can make on the field. How often is Harry Doyles supposed to win our hearts in Major League? Indeed, this movie would not be the same without Bob Uecker playing this classic character.
Every quote from Harry Doyle is so spine-ticking that he is regarded as the most iconic actor even after so many years.
25. Jake Taylor: “Hell of a situation we got here. Two on, two out, your team is down by one in the ninth. You got a chance to be a hero on national television… if you don’t blow it.”
This short yet sweet inspirational speech motivates the team to give their best on the field. Someone, please encourage us the same way as Jake Taylor with our studies so that we all excel in our academics!
24. Jake Taylor: “Uh-oh, that’s it; I don’t think this one’s got the distance.”
We can all collectively agree that Major League is one of the greatest quotable movies in cinematic history. The list isn’t completed without mentioning this legendary quote. This one’s distance is sure to work in any baseball game or even real life. I love this quote!
23. Janice Bowden: “I hear baseball players make outstanding salaries nowadays. “
Jake Taylor: “Well, it depends on how good you are.”
Janice Bowden: “How good are you?”
Jake Taylor: “I make the league minimum.”
Self-awareness just got cooler when Jake Taylor delivered this statement. Anyone not dedicated to sports is naturally curious about what’s happening inside the team and what the paychecks look like.
We can never get over this iconic quote of Jake Taylor, one of the most incredible gems in the film, when he says he receives the league minimum because he is not the best player. Jake, we love how you can make any severe conversation funny with your brilliant comedic timing!
22. Jake Taylor: “That guy she’s with, I mean, I’m sure he’s a close personal friend and all, but tell me, what was he doing wearing her panties on his head?”
In the above statement, Jake Taylor is talking about Rexman’s wife. Jake disapproves of her close relationship with his close personal friend.
Maybe they are more than “just friends” and share a close bond. This statement gets funnier when you realize this is from a sports movie. This quote shows that Jake Taylor got a sneaky mind!
21. Harry Boyle: “Haywood swings and crushes this one toward South America. Tomlinson will need a Visa to catch this one, it is out of here, and there is nothing left but a vapor trail.”
Harry Doyle is undoubtedly the most hilarious character in Major League. He is addressing Heywood and his brilliance in the baseball game. He commented that he hit the ball so hard that it landed straight in South America, miles away from the field.
This is one of the best Major League movie quotes that will surely be remembered even after decades. We know Harry Doyle is the king of words.
20. Lou Brown: “Me? I’m for wasting sportswriters’ time, so I’d like to see if we can give them all a nice big s*** burger.”
The manager of the Cleveland Indians team Lou Brown is having a heart to heart conversations with the team members in the clubhouse. It is visible how he has never given an inspirational speech before, but can we give this guy a hundred points for his efforts?
Lou Brown is too proud of himself for making that joke in the speech. He is one of the best characters in the Major League. It points out that James Gammon is a versatile actor, and no one could have played the character better than him. We were so disappointed that we couldn’t experience these characters again!
19. Harry Doyle: Rick Vaughn into the wind-up, and his first offering … juuuust a bit outside. He tried the corner and missed.”
Ricky Vaughn is witnessed making a big-league debut, and of course, Harry Doyle is up for commentary. The audience adored the thrilling scene, especially when Doyle said he was juuuuust a bit outside. It is the most iconic quote in the Major League movie.
The viewers loved the dialogue delivery of the most excellent narrator Harry Doyle in this scene. This dialogue made me remember every moment of joy while watching this stress-buster film. I adore the narration of Doyle with all my heart. Is it me, or is anyone still obsessing over this epic character?
18. Lou Brown: “The local press seems to think that we’d save everyone the time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves. Me, I’m for wasting sportswriters’ time.”
We love how passive-aggressive this inspirational speech by Lou Brown turned out to be! Not only does this proves that he is a great leader but also how effective his words are in such an intense situation.
It is almost surprising how these words are so touching yet so hilarious at the same time. We love how Lou Brown bragged about how the sportswriters are so fed up with him that they must address him regularly.
17. Charlie Donovan: “Vaughn’s been looking good out there today.”
Rachel Phelps: “Don’t worry, he’ll blow it.”
Margaret Whitton, who played the character of Rachel Phelps in Major League, portrayed an elegant woman. She took ownership of the Cleveland Indians after her husband, Donald Phelps’s death. She was often hated because she was blamed for her husband’s death. She is known for her bold attitude and savage remarks, like the above quote.
16. Pedro Cerrano: “Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit a curveball. Straight ball, I hit it very much. Curveball bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats… He will come”
It is hilarious to watch the adorable accent of Pedro Cerrano. I can watch him talk all day long without complaining even a bit. Major League has a wide range of unique and talented cast members. One of them includes Pedro Cerrano, who Dennis Haysbert plays. Pedro is known for giving his competitors a tough time.
In the above statement, he is worshipping his Biasi doll to make him hit a curveball by offering rum. It is impressive to see his faith in religion and how he got into a short argument with Eddie Harris for not praying to Jesus Christ. This movie is filled with a series of legendary quotes that fans still enjoy unconditionally.
15. Rachel Phelps: “We lost our two best players to free agency. We haven’t won a pennant in over thirty-five years or placed higher than fourth in the last fifteen. It’s time for some changes.”
Rachel Phelps delivers this bold statement after taking control of the Cleveland Indians team after her husband, Donald Phelps, ‘s sudden demise. We loved the character of this woman who suddenly got into power and wouldn’t fear anyone to make some new changes so that the team could perform better than usual.
14. Lou Brown: “I thought you said we didn’t have any high-priced talent.”
Charlie Donovan: “Forgot about Dorn ’cause he’s only high-priced. Picked him up as a free agent three years ago.”
Lou Brown: “Still hits the ball well, doesn’t he?”
Charlie Donovan: “Yeah, just can’t field it.”
This gravel-voiced manager of the Cleveland Indians, Lou Brown, who James Gammon plays, certainly has a unique charm that viewers worldwide can never ignore. His way of smiling is imprinted in our hearts. His words and acting is going to stay with us forever. His work is still celebrated by his fans even after his death.
13. Pepper: “Look at this f***ing guy.”
Lou Brown: “It’s my kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team.”
We can see Lou Brown falling for him by looking at his sports abilities. He further goes on to say that he has all the potential that would make a perfect team. The audience loved how excited Lou Brown sounded while making this statement.
12. Haywood: “Taylor, what are you doin’ back up here?”
Jake Taylor: “I couldn’t cut it in the Mexican Leagues.”
Haywood: “How’s your wife and my kids?”
Fans still enjoy the goofiness of Jake Taylor. He is one such character that entertained us throughout the movie no matter what situation he has been made to deal with. His conversation with Haywood is one of the most memorable in the Major League film.
11. Jake Taylor: “Um, the Indians.”
Claire Holloway: “Here in Cleveland? I didn’t know they still had a team!”
Jake Taylor: “Yup, we’ve got uniforms and everything; it’s great!”
In the above conversation, Claire Holloway is astonished that Cleveland Indians still compete in the baseball game even though they couldn’t perform well on the field. To this, Jake Taylor replied that we’d got uniforms and everything.
They all shared a hearty laugh after that. This is a highly underrated joke in such a phenomenal movie. This scene still cracks me up every time.
10. All: “Hello. Do you know us?”
All: “We’re a Major League Baseball team.”
Jake Taylor: “But since we haven’t won a pennant in over 30 years, nobody recognizes us – not even in our hometown.”
Jake Taylor tried to present the pathetic condition in front of his fellow Cleveland Indians team members. He wanted to make them understand that the situation was so unbelievably terrible that no one recognized them as the Cleveland Indians team.
9. Wild thing
The wild thing has always been my favorite part about the Major League movie. The stadium was jam-packed with fans chanting the fantastic thing song. At the same time, Margaret Whitton, who played the character of Rachel Phelps, hates it.
In the tiebreaker game, Ricky Vaughn, also known as Wild Thing, enters the stadium for the ninth inning, and the audience goes insane by witnessing his entry. Even though the match was scripted, it was still enough to create a buzz among the movie’s viewers. Meanwhile, Rachel Phelps silently mutters, “I hate this f***ing song.”
8. Jake Taylor: Dorn, I liked you so much better when you were just a ballplayer. If you want to be an interior decorator now, that’s none of my business.
But some of us still need this team. Now you listen to me! This is my last shot at a winner; for some of the younger guys, it could be their only shot.
I don’t know what happened to you. But if you ever tank another play like you did today, I’ll cut your nuts off and stuff them down your f***ing throat.”
We could write about these iconic fictional characters all day, but it still couldn’t match their persona. Jake Taylor is indeed blessed with some of the best dialogues in Major League movies, which sounds hilarious every single time. This movie feels like home because it is connected to our childhood. I couldn’t ever lose interest in this movie, even though I am not into sports.
Jake is a significant element of Major League, and we are blessed this fictional character exists. The quote mentioned above is just him being aggressive; this is the only person who looks good while screaming.
7. Pedro Cerrano: “Hats for bats.”
This repeatable line sounds hilarious by the way Pedro Cerrano delivers it. We can all feel that Roger Dorn is intimated by his intense look. The whole conversation is funnier than we can ever imagine.
The entire conversation is just Pedro taking care of his bat and not concentrating on any of his questions. The way he cared for his bat, it felt like he would not spare anyone if someone even tried to touch the bat.
Roger Dorn: “He,y big guy. You a golfer?”
Pedro Cerrano: “Hats for bats.”
Roger Dorn: “Yeah? What’s your handicap?”
Pedro Cerrano: “Keep bats warm. Gracias.”
6. Eddie Harris: “Yo, bartender! Jobu needs a refill!”
After drinking Jobu’s rum, Eddie Harris shares a deep conversation with the doll. He then marches to the field, thinking it is a bar. While portraying all his swag, he says, “Yo bartender! Jobu needs a refill!” The audience died laughing at this hilarious scene. We can never thank the creators enough for making us witness this epic moment.
5. Executive: “This guy here is dead.”
Rachel Phelps: “Cross him off, then.”
Ironic how this unbelievably hilarious movie has such a heart-breaking line. In the conference room, the executives and Rachel Phelps are going through the list of spring training invitees.
These people are talking about allowing the invitees to be a part of the Cleveland Indians team, and they are not interested in working with people who are way past their prime. The boldness Margaret Whitton brings to the character of Rachel Phelps is genuinely appreciable. She undoubtedly looked like the actual owner of the team.
4. “The Indians win it! The Indians win it! OH MY GOD, THE INDIANS WIN IT!”
Victory finally comes after a long waiting. If you couldn’t feel the emotion behind this epic Major League quote, are you even human? The ninth inning of the tiebreaker game is enough to give anyone chills. The last game shows what an incredible journey it has been.
Major League will always stay alive in the hearts of fans, especially for the iconic one-liners, excellent casts, and exciting story arcs that made this movie worth it. It feels unreal to experience the whole film like we are part of the team. And seeing them win is a feeling I can’t explain in words.
3. Rick Vaughn: “I look like a banker in this.”
Jake Taylor drags Vaughn to a fancy restaurant in Cleveland to celebrate the victory and the beginning of two epic careers. Vaughn alarmingly says he looks like a banker in the formal dress code. Vaughn wore a tank top and leather jacket with the sleeves torn off.
It is nowhere close to the formal dress code of a banker. It is visible that Vaughn has never been to a fancy restaurant by the way he tries to order his food. This is one of the most hilarious Major League quotes by Rick Vaughn.
2. Jake Taylor: “This guy’s the out you’ve been waiting your whole life for.”
Jake Taylor has delivered this line to pump up Ricky Vaughn before the baseball game. He comes into the picture for the ninth inning in a tie game. He has to play against Haywood, who has defeated him this season. To this, Jake Taylor says, “This guy you’ve been waiting your whole life for!”
Jake wants him to crush Haywood in the game of baseball. This also suggests the signs of being a true friend who can hype you up in times of emergency. This Major League quote f feels like a romantic gesture, but we assure you, it isn’t.
1. Lou Brown: “I’ve got a guy on the other line about some whitewalls.”
Lou Brown was initially working as a manager in Toledo Mud Hens. When Indians GM Charlie Donovan offered him a job, he politely declined the offer by saying, “I’ve got a guy on the other line about some white walls. I’ll talk to you later.” Give this guy a medal for dedication.
The other guy is more important to him than managing the big leagues. This is undoubtedly one of the best Major League quotes.
Conclusion:
Major League is not just a movie. It is an emotion. We are so glad we got to introduce this epic sports movie that entertained us in our childhoods to our families and friends. It is still one of the greatest movies in American cinematic history.
We guarantee you that you will cherish every single bit of this movie, especially the one-liners and Major League films that are still talked about by dedicated fans even after three decades. Witnessing the funny characters is truly the best feeling.
The strangely funny characters of Harry Doyle, Jake Taylor, Lou Brown, Eddie Harris, Charlie Donovan, Rachel Phelps, and many others made this movie iconic. Major League is truly the greatest of all time.
