Here we have brought some Monty Python and the holy grail Quotes! No matter how many years go by, in the blink of an eye, the name Monty Python and the Holy Grail will always be written in history with golden letters. The film is one of the best comedies in history, which was released in the year 1975. John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Graham Chapman, and Terry Jones performed brilliantly in their respective roles to make this movie the most memorable comedy movie of the 70s.
The gang was initially known for their sketch comedy show titled Monty Python’s Flying Circus. Monty Python is an incredible comedy group because every generation can agree to the fact that they are hilarious and brilliant performers as well. The film features the adventures of the legendary King Arthur in finding the Holy Grail. The craze for this movie is still present in one of the few elites who enjoy a subtle drama even now on. Here is a list of 20 of the best Monty Python and the Holy Grail quotes to make you fall for this iconic movie all over again.
20.”I’m not dead” – Carried Man
This is one of the most popular quotes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. This quote can also be used in these gut-wrenching times when the pandemic has overshadowed the entire globe, and we have nothing to restore our hope. This quote is delivered by an old man who is protesting against the authority over his placement on the plague cart. This irresistible dark joke has been cleverly added to the script, and it makes the scene hilarious. The audience can never stop cherishing this joke.
19.“Just a flesh wound.” – The Black Knight
The Black Knight speaks these words in the event of getting his arms cut off by mighty King Arthur because he wasn’t accepting the king’s orders. This is a gem in the present meme culture. People have been using this popular catchphrase by black knights ironically in several situations to dominate severe damage and politely refuse to accept someone’s power over them. This is hands down one of the best Monty Python and the Holy Grail quotes to ever come out from this cult classic. Just a flesh wound is a line that you can use to describe an injury to sound more sarcastic.
18.“First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou, then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.” – Monk
This quote by Monk attempts to present an accurate punchline for making the religious texts extremely complicated to understand. This dialogue adds a bit of irony and humor element to the story. The movie seems to call out religion for being hypocritical as they first spread the message of peace and then they attempt to kill other people in god’s name. The above line has a reference to Christianity for encouraging peace among people and developing the holy hand grenade at the same time, which is utterly baseless.
17.“We dine well here in Camelot. We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.” – Knights of Camelot
This is one of the most hilarious lines in the musical number by Camelot. The quote shows that the home of the Round Table is undoubtedly an imbecile place. The name of this goofy track is Spamalot, the Broadway musical which is directed by Mike Nichols that features Tim Curry. As much as the musical track is hilarious to him, we still feel like it is one of the most amazing presentations by the famous British comedy group that shows how supremely talented they are in terms of their comedic skills.
16.“I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.” – French knight to King Arthur
Very bold of the French Knight to open his mouth in front of King Arthur! This is a popular line among Python fans as they consider it to be over-the-top savage and ruthless. This iconic line was seen printed on t-shirts at one point. This is one of the most amusing lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. We request you never use this wild line about hamsters and elderberries in reference to anybody because father smelt of elderberries won’t get you praises for being a Monty Python fan. Still, instead, you will get yourself into serious trouble!
15.“Don’t like her? What’s wrong with her? She’s beautiful and rich. She’s got huge…tracts of land” – King of Swamp Castle
This history joke is a parody of all the marriages that the parents arrange for the sole purpose of increasing the family’s wealth and capital holdings. We feel like this is how the upper-class talks about the possible matches as per their status and style. And the sad part is this concept is still taken into consideration when choosing a partner, even in these modern times. They mean we should set fire to our capabilities and power that result in a better life partner and think about earning more and more money so that we can satiate the other party. Have you ever realized how damaging this mentality is? The previous statement of the king of the swamp castle depicts a similar perspective.
14.“She turned me into a newt.” “A newt?” “I got better.” – Villager and Sir Bedevere discuss witchcraft
There are several ways to locate a witch in the legendary movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Still, nothing matches a silly attempt to narrate a tale about the time when you were mysteriously turned into an amphibian (we got to give him credit for putting up with this brave story!). The thoughtful indulgence on John Cheese’s face while delivering this hilariously funny line makes this scene absurdly funny. This is one of the best and the most priceless punchlines in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
13.“Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.” – Tim the Enchanter
If you think Tim the Enchanter is talking about some dangerous animal with big sharp pointy teeth, then we are sorry to burst your bubble! He is talking about the bunnies who are the killers in the movie. Tim’s stupid warning not only gets stupider as you say it out loud but also it is one of the most memorable lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail (it might be possible that the rabbits turned out to be killers after they lost the race from the turtle in order to prove their capabilities!)
12.“But if he was dying, he wouldn’t bother to carve ‘Aargh.’ He’d just say it.” – King Arthur
As much as the character of King Arthur turned out to be extremely funny, he has a list of all the hilariously stupid quotes that made us tickle throughout the movie. This line is a prime example of logic interruption boosting the scene and making up for perfect comedic fodder for all the viewers out there. King Arthur is sometimes that one human in our group that brings out the most meaningless statements, but we have to drag him or her because he is a part of the group! Same feeling, right?
11.“No chance, English bedwetting types! I burst my pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing; you tiny-brained wipers of other people’s bottoms!” – French knight to King Arthur
This is one of the greatest lines that stands out from the rest of the hilarious gags that make you laugh throughout the movie. Do you know how kids taunt each other by taking out the most PG-level ruthlessness and grossness? Yeah, this scene is mad crazy, minus the kids, and the interesting part is that we still enjoy this scene even after extremely non-flattering words are used. The scene that features the return of King Arthur to his swamp castle always captivates the audience towards itself.
10.“Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?” – Soldier
One thing Monty Python and the Holy Grail excel at is presenting absurdity and humor from any given situation. Through this scene, we got to know the number of times per second a swallow is required to flap its wings to maintain air-speed velocity. So thoughtful of our King Arthur, we doubted him all along!
9.“Ni!” – The Knights who say ni!
Ni! haven’t sounded more amusing to our ears since we heard the Knights. Knights produce weird, silly sounds, and also repeating those silly childish sounds countless times gives the audience a good laugh. I can’t imagine anyone not laughing their hearts out at the weird antics of the knights. But before we go ahead, we would like to mention the unbeatable performance of the knights that made this movie so effortlessly comical and unique. But be careful Ni! It might turn out to be your biggest nightmare! We are warning you beforehand.
8.”What do you mean? An African or a European swallow?” – King Arthur
How it is possible that we don’t include this memorable quote from the mouth of the legend King Arthur? Monty Python and the Holy Grail have an everlasting influence on popular culture, and that couldn’t have been possible without King Arthur. While the movie features the mysterious world of the Holy Grail that consists of three-headed knights, animated cave monsters, and wizards, we still feel like King Arthur stole the show by putting up the most terrific performance in history. In the above scene, King Arthur educates the people about the coconut shells, migratory swallows bought to Britain.
7.“You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called “Arthur King,” you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.” – French Soldier
This brutal ego-damaging insult sounds hilarious when it is on screen (but not in real life!). These insults are in the iconic series Game Of Thrones. This line is also used as a perfect comeback online to shut off the heaters. King Arthur couldn’t have imagined in his wildest dreams the kind of ruthlessness being thrown at him. We can all agree to the fact that this is one of the most brutal insults from Monty Python and the Holy Grail (that we can’t stop replaying!)
6.“Course it’s a good idea!” – God
This is one of the most beloved signature animations from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It wouldn’t be Monty Python if there was no making fun of the Christianity religion while keeping it subtle and light-hearted (and it might turn out to be our biggest guilty pleasure, who knows!?.
Terry Gilliam’s animation makes this one scene super fun and exciting when the knights of King Arthur annoy the lord and praise the Lord half-heartedly. I have no idea about you people, but I had a great laugh at the dialogue delivery of the above statement.
5.“Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!” – Dennis
Even after more than four decades of this scene, this quote is a brilliant way to make fun of the present political system. This classic scene people will remember for many more years to come. Dennis is one of the most relatable and popular characters in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. This scene is a perfect example of how violence is inherent in the political system.
The scene not only justifies why Monty Python and the Holy Grail is one of the greatest movies ever but also acts as an eye-opener to the political system. We can all agree on the fact that this is the most savage a person can be.
4.“No, now go away before I taunt you a second time.”- French Soldier
The scene very well explains the long history of the British and French rivalry. This will be one of my favorite lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The French soldiers give a whole new meaning to the concept of nasty taunting through this scene. No matter what message this movie has given us as a viewer, it features one of the most creative ways to insult anyone!
3.“On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. ‘Tis a silly place.” – Arthur
This one of the best Monty Python And The Holy Grail Quote proves to be a perfect meme template because of countless memes from this beloved King Arthur single statement. This reminds us how extraordinary this journey has been to witness this movie about King Arthur and his quest for the Holy Grail. We will forever be indebted to the creators for giving us such a wonderful masterpiece. Its humor is still applicable in the present times.
2.“Oh, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!” – Dennis
This is one of the best pieces of satire and the best political roasting. This scene is frightening how unbelievably relatable this scene is in our time. This epic movie is still hilarious 46 years later.
1.“Well, I didn’t vote for you.” – Peasant Woman to King Arthur
This brutally best Monty Python And The Holy Grail Quote of courage and strength reveals the amount of strength and power that is the need of the hour to fight off the evils in society. The scene seems to present a reality check to the self-centered King Arthur, who doesn’t care about anyone else except for himself. The quote not only seeks to redefine the amount of courage you require to call out your leader when he is not performing his duties accurately, but it also acts as an irony to the present times where people support the wrongdoers.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail emerged as a proper feature film in the year 1975, but also it paved the way for many upcoming comedy movies of that time. The writing is sheer brilliance, and the performances of the cast members are ultimate. The creators of the film infused intelligent humor from the start till the end. This movie is a perfect dose of laughter for a fun family dinner because you can enjoy it with your entire family.
The film received an 8.2 rating on IMDb and a 97% as approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. You can stream this movie on Netflix, Amazon Prime, Google Play, iTunes, and even YouTube, so go ahead and quench your thirst to watch this movie all over again. The hilarious take on King Arthur and his thirst for the Holy Grail will always entertain people for many more years to come with its unique and funny dialogues and superb acting skills.